I know you’re busy right now. I also reckon that you need to finish your work today. Yeah, I understand that you must go out-of-town for business purposes. I know that you’re doing all of these for us, for the future of our child. Yeah, all for the sake of future.
I don’t know if you still remember our 5th wedding anniversary. I don’t know if you want to celebrate it with me. Many questions are rumbling here in my mind but I can’t find any answers to them.
You went to work early so we didn’t have the chance to talk. I wanted to greet you but your phone’s out of reach. It hurt me knowing that I couldn’t spend this special day with you.
Love, I still want to greet you Happy Anniversary. I also look forward to celebrating it with you though I don’t know when it will be. I still hope that you will greet me either. I expect those sweet messages and beautiful flowers from you. I dream of celebrating this day with all your surprises.
I’ve realized that we haven’t been to dates lately. We haven’t spent quality time together. We haven’t exchanged sweet messages and gifts like what we did before. I missed those days, my betterhalf.
You’ve been so busy lately. You’ve been a dedicated and hardworking businessman for the past fruitful years. But hey, have you intentionally forgotten that you have a family? A family who has been in need of your attention, love and care?
Few hours have passed. No calls, no texts from you. It saddened me. You’re really busy huh. I was excited but that excitement led to disappointment and hurt. I waited for you the whole night but you didn’t show up. I didn’t even see you nor greet you. Well, I would do it this morning.
I thought you’d come but you didn’t.
I was here waiting for you here in our house. I was here with our four-year old son. Oh, maids, whom you’ve been paying much, took care of us. Yeah, we’re home but you’re not with us.
Whole day passed but you’re not yet home. Surely, you’re so busy with that damn business. You told me before that all those things were for our child. True, I believed you.
I waited and waited. The waiting tormented me because you didn’t show up for one week. Our child kept on asking me why you’re not yet here. What would I tell him? That you’re just busy. Hell no! I knew he wouldn’t understand. I gave him toys, bought him new clothes and took him to amusement parks and malls. I did all those things to cheer him up, to prevent him from asking you again. I also went to spas, cinemas and shopping malls to buy new clothes. We’re happy but there’s still missing.. YOU.
Finally, you’re here! We were very happy to see and hug you. I thought something happened to you but I was wrong. You’re just busy! Our son was so eager to be with you again, so was I. I was expecting that you would say ‘sorry’ for not being with us on our anniversary but you didn’t. Again, it hurt me but it’s enough that you’re here with us again. I missed you, love. I wish you wouldn’t be away that long.
The next day, you went to work again. Hmp! I was there again, waiting for you to come home. Days passed and you became so busy. We seldom saw you at home. We rarely went to malls, restaurants or other places. “I’m busy”, you told us. It’s your usual alibi but I kept on telling myself that I should understand you because I’m your wife and I love you. I want to be an understanding wife. It’s fine. There are other days to be with you.
One day, I just woke up being used to all your busy schedules. Yeah, I’m used to those alibis, lies and other things that you told me. I’m used to getting up in the morning, seeing no traces of you. I don’t bother to text or call you anymore. I also don’t expect that you will be here during dinner. It’s ok if you come home late; it’s fine if we can’t be with you on weekends. Don’t worry, I’m all used to it. I always tell myself that I should not expect more from you.
I am surprised for realizing that I don’t think of you that much anymore. I don’t yearn for your care and attention anymore. I don’t know! I become numb in waiting for you. My attention is on our child. I give him all my love and care. It’s ok, just focus on your work. I won’t interfere with your business anymore. I won’t ask for any favor from you. I just hope that you will not be surprised if you don’t see us in our house anymore. I hope that our child will still understand and love you despite your shortcomings. I hope that he will still consider you as his father.
You’ve been drowned at work. You’ve been addicted to meetings, conferences and other stuffs. You’ve forgotten that you still have your family. I can’t deny the fact that you still provide for us, the clothes, the house, food and other necessities but they fail compared to the longing that we need from you. We need you – your presence, love, care and attention. You’ve failed to give them!
Money and other luxuries can never replace happiness. I sometimes envy my friends, though they are not really rich but they’re complete and loved. They lack material things but they are blessed with so much love. That’s the bitter reality within us. We almost have everything but we’re not loved.
Yes, you’re definitely busy but heck, I need you. We both need you. We need your precious time. Why can’t you give that to us? Do I need to have an appointment with you? Do I need to consult your secretary for you to talk to me? Do I need to be your associate? What? Just tell me what to do and I’m willing to do it. I will do that not for my sake but for our son’s sake. He needs you so badly. He’s your son after all.
I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of understanding you. I’m tired of hoping for nothing. I’m tired of seeking for your damn time. Above all, I’m tired of loving.
**When I was writing this letter, I thought of those wives who were actually seeking attention , love and care from their husbands.**
**Love and happiness are more important than money!**
- Touching True Story, the Sacrifice of a Wife (rafaihamdi.wordpress.com)
- Listening To All The Things She Never Said (My reading in Listen To Your Mother) (twisstedfancy.com)