An Open Letter to My Busy Husband

Husband,

I know you’re busy right now. I also reckon that you need to finish your work today. Yeah, I understand that you must go out-of-town for business purposes. I know that you’re doing all of these for us, for the future of our child. Yeah, all for the sake of future.

I don’t know if you still remember our 5th wedding anniversary. I don’t know if you want to celebrate it with me. Many questions are rumbling here in my mind but I can’t find any answers to them.

You went to work early so we didn’t have the chance to talk. I wanted to greet you but your phone’s out of reach. It hurt me knowing that I couldn’t spend this special day with you.

Love, I still want to greet you Happy Anniversary. I also look forward to celebrating it with you though I don’t know when it will be. I still hope that you will greet me either. I expect those sweet messages and beautiful flowers from you. I dream of celebrating this day with all your surprises.

I’ve realized that we haven’t been to dates lately. We haven’t spent quality time together. We haven’t exchanged sweet messages and gifts like what we did before. I missed those days, my betterhalf.

You’ve been so busy lately. You’ve been a dedicated and hardworking businessman for the past fruitful years. But hey, have you intentionally forgotten that you have a family? A family who has been in need of your attention, love and care?

Few hours have passed. No calls, no texts from you. It saddened me. You’re really busy huh. I was excited but that excitement led to disappointment and hurt. I waited for you the whole night but you didn’t show up. I didn’t even see you nor greet you. Well, I would do it this morning.

I thought you’d come but you didn’t.

I was here waiting for you here in our house. I was here with our four-year old son. Oh, maids, whom you’ve been paying much, took care of us. Yeah, we’re home but you’re not with us.

Whole day passed but you’re not yet home. Surely, you’re so busy with that damn business. You told me before that all those things were for our child. True, I believed you.

I waited and waited. The waiting tormented me because you didn’t show up for one week. Our child kept on asking me why you’re not yet here. What would I tell him? That you’re just busy. Hell no! I knew he wouldn’t understand. I gave him toys, bought him new clothes and took him to amusement parks and malls. I did all those things to cheer him up, to prevent him from asking you again. I also went to spas, cinemas and shopping malls to buy new clothes. We’re happy but there’s still missing.. YOU.

Finally, you’re here! We were very happy to see and hug you. I thought something happened to you but I was wrong. You’re just busy! Our son was so eager to be with you again, so was I. I was expecting that you would say ‘sorry’ for not being with us on our anniversary but you didn’t. Again, it hurt me but it’s enough that you’re here with us again. I missed you, love. I wish you wouldn’t be away that long.

The next day, you went to work again. Hmp! I was there again, waiting for you to come home. Days passed and you became so busy. We seldom saw you at home. We rarely went to malls, restaurants or other places. “I’m busy”, you told us. It’s your usual alibi but I kept on telling myself that I should understand you because I’m your wife and I love you. I want to be an understanding wife. It’s fine. There are other days to be with you.

One day, I just woke up being used to all your busy schedules. Yeah, I’m used to those alibis, lies and other things that you told me. I’m used to getting up in the morning, seeing no traces of you. I don’t bother to text or call you anymore. I also don’t expect that you will be here during dinner. It’s ok if you come home late; it’s fine if we can’t be with you on weekends.  Don’t worry, I’m all used to it. I always tell myself that I should not expect more from you.

I am surprised for realizing that I don’t think of you that much anymore. I don’t yearn for your care and attention anymore. I don’t know! I become numb in waiting for you. My attention is on our child. I give him all my love and care. It’s ok, just focus on your work. I won’t interfere with your business anymore. I won’t ask for any favor from you. I just hope that you will not be surprised if you don’t see us in our house anymore. I hope that our child will still understand and love you despite your shortcomings. I hope that he will still consider you as his father.

You’ve been drowned at work. You’ve been addicted to meetings, conferences and other stuffs. You’ve forgotten that you still have your family. I can’t deny the fact that you still provide for us, the clothes, the house, food and other necessities but they fail compared to the longing that we need from you. We need you – your presence, love, care and attention. You’ve failed to give them!

Money and other luxuries can never replace happiness. I sometimes envy my friends, though they are not really rich but they’re complete and loved. They lack material things but they are blessed with so much love. That’s the bitter reality within us. We almost have everything but we’re not loved.

Yes, you’re definitely busy but heck, I need you. We both need you. We need your precious time. Why can’t you give that to us? Do I need to have an appointment with you? Do I need to consult your secretary for you to talk to me? Do I need to be your associate? What? Just tell me what to do and I’m willing to do it. I will do that not for my sake but for our son’s sake. He needs you so badly. He’s your son after all.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of understanding you. I’m tired of hoping for nothing. I’m tired of seeking for your damn time. Above all, I’m tired of loving.

Your wife

**When I was writing this letter, I thought of those wives who were actually seeking attention , love and care from their husbands.**

**Love and happiness are more important than money!**

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53 thoughts on “An Open Letter to My Busy Husband

  1. Your post speaks of reality. Because in this day and age the most important things like love and time are often exchanged for money or financial stability, hence putting money above everything even their family.

  2. It seems your husband is just not a family man. My wife’s first husband was worse than yours. He worked and spent all his money on himself and leading tourist tours away from home. The result was divorce. I would recommend that you reeducate yourself for a good job or career and start working while he is still supporting you with money. When you are successfully employed and making your own money you will have a realistic option of divorcing him if necessary. Best wishes. Uldis

    • Oh thank you very much for checking on my blog and for this wonderful comment. Unfortunately, I can’t relate with the suggestion coz I am not yet married. I dedicated this letter to all those women who have been neglected or ignored by their husbands. Anyway, I do appreciate your suggestions. I wish those women would be able to read your opinion on their predicament. Thanks again, Uldis. Best wishes!

      -Jeannie

  3. I’m so glad to hear this story is not about you. I can relate to those sentiments as my husband was a very busy man, but he never forgot important dates. I was a working wife and mother, so I suppose I was a busy spouse too. 🙂

    • Wow, thanks for the comment, Irina. Yeah, it’s not me.. I just used this letter to open the minds of other people that being busy is not an excuse to spend time with their loved ones. Time is one of the best gifts that we can give to our special someone. Yeah, I am also a very busy single lady yet I still have time to spend with my family and my boyfriend. 😀 Stay inspired! 🙂

    • Ohh thanks Nina.. I am currently happy with my family — with my loving parents and supportive siblings. Unfortunately, I am still single but not available anymore. I hope that post of mine won’t happen to me in the future. lol. Stay connected. Thanks!

      • Glad you are. People like you must and shall always search for happiness. Being single and free is much better than in a relationship but chained:)
        I will look at more posts, really like your elegant writing style!

      • Oh, thank you very much for your sweet and wonderful comment, Nina. Who likes to be chained and neglected? Hmmm.. I hope you’re doing fine as well. Take care. Stay inspired! 🙂

        P.S. What is your language? 😀

  4. Wow, I really appreciate your creativity and initiative to pen down things which are important in life. Yes. Busy life cannot be an “excuse” for neglecting our loved ones. Cheers for you! 🙂

    • Thanks Henry.. Well, I usually have the guts to write poems and letters about love when I am depressed, sad and ecstatic.. Rainy season inspires me to do such things as well. Thanks for the wonderful comments. Stay inspired and happy, Henry! Cheers! 🙂

      Jeannie

  5. Very glad that Your story wasn’t actually about You. It was very descriptive, and realistic It reminded me quite a bit of what I went through when I was married. The biggest difference was that my now Ex-husband did not have a well-paying job, and it turned out that no matter how much he insisted that was busy with work, he was actually busy with another woman. My ex-husband always put ” things ” about Love and Caring. I hope that one day when You find the right one for You that He’s not like that at all.

    • I am sorry to hear that from you. I guess, everything happens for a reason. I hope that you’re doing well right now despite that sad incident in your life. Thanks for this wonderful and affirming comment. I’ve met someone who really loves me. I pray to God that he will be the last and right man for me. 🙂

      Stay happy and inspired!

      Jeannie in the bottle

  6. Very touching and genuinely heartfelt. I remember that one of the loneliest times of my life was when I was laying right next to my husband in bed……..but that was a marriage gone wrong. Please, you either hand your husband this blog (in print) or strap him to a chair and have a talk. My very best wishes for love and happiness to you! xoJulia

    • Thanks for your wonderful comment and advice, Julia but this is just fiction. I am not yet married yet. I do hope that this wont happen to me.

      Wishing you more happiness and good health as well!

      • Well, all I can say is that you write good fiction! haha. Well done! And I’m glad it’s not real! With this kind of insight, you will surely never face this kind of loneliness. Blessings to you. xoJulia

  7. I am in tears. I can see myself like that 5 years from now. I just got married and my husband has no time for me. I try and squeeze in for him. I just moved to a new place just for him but thankfully I have a job to keep my sanity which keeps me busy. Other than that. since he works weekends too, I am pretty much by myself. I hope he realizes how much is he going to lose soon. Thanks for this post.

  8. I appreciate your courage to grapple with your pain, and your vision for love, and your hope for your husband … not only your hope for your husband, but your hope for you and your family. Peace, healing, restoration … Thanks for visiting my blog. T

  9. hello jeannie..
    at first i was happy to have seen your post. as I’ve read it, it made me feel the words are coming from my own heart–wanting to come out–long time ago already… my eyes were beginning to shed tears even….
    as i scrolled down…I’m surprised to know that this is just a fiction.. I wonder what made you write this one in the first place…. aside from you really have a good imagination and a talent in writing… 🙂
    anyhow..thank you for this article of yours. it made me a little stronger somehow, knowing there are people here who understands what others are going through.
    I pray for all the women, and for all the mothers in the world giving out love and sacrificing for the sake of their children.
    it is my hope that you will find happiness in this world no matter how imperfect life may seem for all of us.

    • Thank you, dear, for this heartfelt comment. This is dedicated to all women who are suffering and hurting emotionally. I believe that every woman especially wife deserves to be loved so dearly! We don’t deserve material things only. We deserve MORE! I am happy to know that I have touched your heart by this simple work of fiction. Thank you for believing in my craft. I am happy to inspire others especially women.

      Be strong, dear. Keep on holding but know when to give up. Children are so important but so are you. Stay safe and blessed! I’d love to hear something from you soon. I’ll keep in touch. 😊😀😘

  10. I understand the frustration..but I work so my wife can enjoy those moments with our children. Do you think for a moment I don’t Hurt and yearn to be with my family?
    You go tired of loving…why because you are the only one devoted? What about the hours upon hours of hard work? What do you want from a man. …one that provides the minimum and makes life a struggle or a man willing to sacrifice his free time with his kids and his wife. YOU ARE not the only one struggling. How about a real conversation before deciding you don’t love me any more…sincerely confused.

    • Thank you for your beautiful comment. I understand a husband who works hard for his family, sacrifices a lot to give his wife and kids a bright future. I know what you’re trying to point out. But, lemme tell you, you can’t be TOO BUSY for your family, 24-48 hours of being busy? Nah, I don’t believe it. If you don’t have time, make time NOT JUST FOR YOURSELF, BUT MOSTLY FOR YOUR FAMILY. I’ve made this letter for many struggling wives who do not receive their deserved time and love from their husbands.

      Now, if you are working for your family and you do have time for them, once in a while, then good for you! Continuing doing so.. Just don’t forget this: You’re not 24 hours busy. 🙂 And just like what Pope Francis has said: Don’t be slave to your job; be its master.

      Have a good day!

      -Jeannie

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